Crap

Many unhappy things happened in my life this year. It was not easy to go through them, and I experienced the word "lost" for many times. I lost myself many times this year. I didn't know what was I doing. I was just like a robot which carries out programmed activities. My life was dull - full of shades of gray. All I did was study, study and study.

The problem is, what am I studying for? A few months ago, I was being criticised for studying like a psycho. I really hated myself. I felt sad for myself, since no one knew what was I thinking. All they did was dumping cold water on me. Of course, there are some friends who truly supported me during my helpless period. However, if compared to those who treated me badly, there are far less helpful friends. Well, I sincerely thank those who gave me advices, without you all, I might not make it until today.

Is it true that getting good results ensure better future? No, it is totally fake. I used to believe in this statement but I found that wrong. There are too many graduates who are jobless nowadays. So why should I study? It doesn't gurantee me to be wealthy, and maybe it doesn't bring me a job too. But I must have to do something now. And none than others, it is studying. Why? Because I am a student. So, I should talk less and continue achieving top results.

I don't really have a single goal now. But I think I will choose to live quietly as a normal person, earning myself a live. For me, the definition of live is not to do something marvellous or wonderful. I prefer to define live as breathing, eating, sleeping and those living things will do. And I don't think I will live more than 30 years old. It's better to die faster since you won't need to work too much.