I don't want to answer why I can't go to PBSM camp.
Because the answer, no matter how true and sincere I said it, no one believes.

I suppose that no one will ever read my blog, so I guess no harm writing more about myself here.

Human beings really are weird.

First, they want something. The next moment either they regret for possessing it, or they don't appreciate me. Sounds a lot like me.

Living in this materialistic world leaves you almost no choice but to fight for survival. Even for survival you have to fight, let alone luxury. For so many years I do not have someone who really understands me. Not even how I feel.

It's hard to avoid myself from envying others, especially how RICH they are.
.............. I am really tired about saying how poor my family is.

I really do hope that I can turn the tables in the future.
I am tired of being poor.
Maybe nothing I say will matter.
But see, you people have at least BOUGHT single storey, big cars and etc.

Lets go Vinson.
Let go your emotions.

After so long

Hoho so much fun visiting friends' houses
Got lots of food and drinks
And also angpaos

Haha it seems that I have good luck today
RM5 x 6 = RM30.... Shh... Later have to be in police station

Well, although no one knows what am I thinking
But still, being with good friends
Is something you cannot value
Because it's priceless

有感而发

‘好朋友’的定义是什么？
一定要有说不尽的话题吗？
似乎已不在我的掌控里
其实我有好朋友吗？
我想我无法回答
因为是别人当我是好朋友与否
所以应该参考别人的答案

生日
只是加一岁
没有其他东西
或许
是我抹杀了它的意义
只是
生活上的不如意
令我觉得人生无须那么漫长

My Poem

《睡眠》

砰！砰！
不止的枪声
笼罩了战地
轰——轰——
不息的弹声
掩盖了战场

国家沉入
睡眠
他们
一天又一天
成为牺牲品
直到永远灭绝

战争
在他们面前
把他们的
最爱
摧毁

在这个
无限的黑夜里
我看见
纵横的泪痕
我听见
痛苦的呻吟
我闻到
腐臭的尸体
我尝到
绝望的味道

何时
晨曦会再微露？
何时
希望会将重燃？

汹！汹！
莫大的海浪
肆虐于大海
飕——飕——
莫强的旋风
跋扈于大地

大地陷入
睡眠
他们
一个接一个
成为牺牲品
直到永不苏醒

灾异
在他们眼前
把他们的
最爱
夺走

在这个
永久的黑天里
我看见
奔涌的泪水
我听见
悲伤的哀悼
我闻到
腐烂的尸首
我感到
无比的悲恸

何时
曙光会再出现？
何时
人类才会醒悟？
------------------------

有任何意见或批评，请留言。

对不起

不知道你是否影射着我和你。
如果是我的错，我道歉。

Determination

Will year 2010 be peaceful year?
I doubt it.
Sometimes things do not go as we wish.
We have to be contented.
For everything.

Well put away all the mood swings.
Work hard with full of ardour.
I am willing to do what it takes to score full A+.
There is no time to waste.

With my poor understanding in Accounting I have to put in more effort.
But I will do my best.

Sometimes being a good person is not that easy.
I am not talented to be one.

Time's up!

Holiday is at the brink of extinction!!

Homework checklist:
Chinese - Halfway
BM - Done
English - Done
Mathematics - Done
Additional Mathematics - Done
Biology - Done
Chemistry - Quarter
Physics - Zero
Moral - Quarter

I hope I can finish it by tomorrow.

Christmas Wishlist

Although predictably unachievable.......

1. Motivation
















Just flipped my clear holder and saw my results for last year's trial exam. Yes, I got the second place. I know I can achieve the first place if I work very hard. But, things do not go that easy for me.

2. Money
















Needless to say, it's always what I pursue. It's the only thing that can make you live in comfort.

3. Peaceful life
















What I realised not long ago is, a peaceful life is so near yet so far.

Results out

Average: 82.5
Ranking in class: 4
Ranking in form: 12

Good?
Bad?
It's not up to my own decision.

I am putting a suspicion in the marking of History paper. The questions are exactly same in my book, and I followed the answer up to 95%, yet I only got 83 marks.

Let it be.
Let it go.
Let it flow.

New Moon

Haha it was a turnabout yesterday. I didn't plan to watch New Moon, but since Hilary, Victor and Zhi Lok were going, so I followed them. Quite the first outing after the holiday started in November. Ate McDonald's and watch New Moon at TGV cinema. I didn't read the original novel, nor watched the first movie, so I couldn't really understand the first fifteen minutes. However, the movie wasn't disappointing, as I caught up with the movie WITHOUT READING THE BOOK MUAHAHAHAHA. Well Victor, the directors couldn't fit every single detail into a 130-minute movie, so don't be disappointed.

New Moon: 7/10

The bus fare had increased much compared to last time. The tickets only offer a single way not double. *Sigh* Money do play an important role if you want to have fun.

Holiday

Ain't that good
But ain't that bad
It's really nice to stay at home all day
Never have to worry about schoolwork

为何？

久等又长待的假期终于来了
等了那么久
可是却一点都不开心
所有的等待
似乎都不值得了
为什么会不开心？

Add Maths

Great. I am confident that I will get an A1.

Life and death are not what we can predict and control.
Life is unavoidable, death is inevitable.
So why let yourself be burdened with those matters?
Live on, happily or sadly, angrily or gloomy, it will still reach an end.
An end which is already determined and dictated by God.
Maybe life is not really fair to me.
It is not totally and always up to my control.
However, I will still do what I can.
So, let life flow like water.
So, let life flow like rivers.
So, let life flow like seas.
So, let life flow like oceans.

One Week

That's the last part. Just a few more to go.

My performance ain't that bad, after all.

Exam

-Entering death zone-

Half-dead. I am disappointed with my performance today. I made a lot of mistakes. I even answered the proverbs part wrongly.

Sad, grief, weary.

Still have a long way to go. Shall I really put everything down?

累

休息

往前走

虽然我不愿意继续走，但是我答应了主。

加油。

Back

No matter how far I go, I will still be back.

To here.

After two and a half months.

After so many things happened.

I am growing tired.

Somehow I do no wish to live so long, but I will continue my life as long as God wants me to do so. Dreamed of having brain cancer last week. Ah, life and death is so unpredictable. Concrete, yet abstract.

However, I am contented with what I have now. Everyday seemed to be plain and simple. Quite what I prayed for, thanks to God.

Born with or Earned

Jun Wen asked me, "Is your intelligence born with or earned?"

Her almost-same-voice sister, Jun Lin said earned.

I said born with.

Not sure though.

Compared to the strong and competitive students, like May Lee, Jian Beng, Chooi Teng, Lim Bei etc, I do not study much. I am now playing Restaurant City. LOL

I have strong memory, both instant and lifelong. But not utilised well. It's good if I can find a place to utilise my memory.

Earned? Sometimes though. I was quite hardworking in my last few years.

What can you do with good results? Not really a single thing.

Not Studying

I haven't start to study. This is no ordinary Bofang. Somehow, a lot of things had happened, and I had changed considerably. Studies, or academics, are important, I have to admit this. But I still don't know why I am not studying.

Penilaian

Oh it's penilaian next week.

Haven't study yet.

Don't have the mood.

I Love IU DAY

Carnevale di Venezia

SAB's IU Day was amazing, astounding, amusing, wonderful, thrilling, shocking, surprising. The performances were unexpectedly well. Such as the Vienese waltz by the elegant Serene, the pretty Rocyie, the cool Manwyn etc. The song fitted the waltz very well. For those who don't know the title of the song (actually I didn't know too), the song is titled Once Upon a December, sang in two versions. The softer one is sang by Liz Callaway, and the orchestral version is sang by Deana Carter.

And this was the busy part. The bubble tea was a great success, but the chocolate biscuits were experiencing a bad sale. Thanks to Ke Xin and Hilary, the bubble tea brought PBC a lot of money. Still, sorry to their hands since they worked 3 hours NON-STOP. The customers, although had to wait for a long time until their turn, remained calm to buy our AWESOME bubble tea. Of course, me myself supported by acting as a cashier!! Ka-Chink!! $$$$$$$$$$ Come!!

I think I am not allowed to post how much did we earned (but even if I am allowed, I don't know the exact amount since I left early). But at my leave, we had earned RM120++, after deducting a cost of RM400.

Cramp Cure Day

Today was a blast, I mean on the afternoon side. I was somehow supervising the handball tournament to help the injured. So it went like this.

There was a wild Syahbandar girl trying to snatch the ball from a taller Laksamana girl, and to get to her goal, she KNOCKED the Laksamana girl. Then the girl was like Ahhhh! and then she rolled on the floor. I was like O.o because I didn't know whether she needed my help. Then I ran to there to check the situation. Then this stupid pervert bisexual teacher said "Did I say I need your help?" F***!!! Hey as a PBSM I have the responsibility to help her!! If anything happened to her, were you able to carry the responsibility?! NO!! So just jerk off instead!!

Okay put this aside. Syahbandar and Laksamana went to an agressive battle and the situation was tense. Laksamana missed an attempt and the ball rolled towards 4 Hemah. Then this girl, my friend, my classmate, Syud went to pick up the ball ALONE (Okay it's not dangerous). Suddenly she couldn't move and somehow she fell down (I wasn't paying attention that time). And another Laksamana girl cramped. So the everyone shouted "PBSM!!!" Then me and Sook Shian "terwoke" and then rushed to there. I handled the Laksamana (Good girl, she got better in 1 minuted) and Shian handled Syud. Syud's condition was worse, she cried!! Then this Pn. Foo comforted her and asked her not to cry with the theory "crying increases pain". O.o So Shian kept massaging her. Then to Syud's gang's request, I went to buy ice cubes to............ eat? Nopes, but actually ice cubes didn't help. Syud just couldn't stand, she cried and bit her tudung. Kesian.

Syud was so semangat and she cheered for her team. And she screamed too - my ears hurt. And then the event ends with Laksamana won. Ahh yeala Shian Laksamana is good =.= Then the previous Laksamana girl cramped BOTH HER LEGS!! AND THERE WAS ANOTHER INJURY. Then Shian went to survey the latter's situation and she was just stomach ache, which PBSM couldn't help. So me and Shian took one leg each to massage. Okay the medicine wasn't so nice, it was so mint-licious to hands. Zzz they actually took our service as free massage! Okay as long she is cramped, we don't charge money ROFLMAO!! Then some girls was like "Ah, saya juga kejang, Bofang/Shian!!" Then I replied "$10 sejam!" and "Rumah kamu ada OGAWA la!" Okay so the thing ended with my job satisfaction.

To ?

Replied you in the comment box.

So, what if I suck? In the first place, I have never said that I am good or professional or whatsoever. And, if you think I suck, then think what you will.

Greed

There are many times where greed can lead to downfall.

Sorry, to whom I SMS-ed today.

I think that I am very foolish to do so. And selfish.

Very tired mentally. Don't know what to do.