Aimless

Today was the last day of PMR, with Geography as our last paper. Many seemed to be very happy, but actually, I don't know why are they happy. I missed PMR suddenly. I missed high-quality question booklets. And perhaps I am a pervert who can't forget his own revision books.

Just after PMR I felt aimless, really aimless. I don't really know what should I do. Everyone went to cyber cafes, badminton courts, shopping centres ect. to have fun. Duh, I found my wallet quite full of money, with two bluish green notes, and with that amount of money I can eat quite luxuriously. But I will feel bad if I use them, because they are my long-saved money.

Ahh, what's the point ending PMR? I can't even play the games I wanted. I can't even watch the television programmes I loved. There is no difference before and after PMR, for me. I always envied others. I find myself always thinking of others' wealth and freedom. I was once told that my eyes are full of sadness. I can't change that fact though, but I don't really mind about me.

I slept for five hours just now. I would want to switch on my computer, but I have no games to play with. Occasionally, I realise that I should put my eyes ahead to the future. But I don't have money to gurantee that I will be a successful person in the future. Well, maybe money doesn't decides everything, but it does decide quite a lot of things, right?

Okay, I am going to read some of the Form 4 books if I can get them earlier. I don't wish to do that too, but what can I do?