VINSON-IST

2010-06-08T22:37:00.002+08:00

I don't want to answer why I can't go to PBSM camp.
Because the answer, no matter how true and sincere I said it, no one believes.

2010-06-08T22:26:00.002+08:00

I suppose that no one will ever read my blog, so I guess no harm writing more about myself here.

Human beings really are weird.

First, they want something. The next moment either they regret for possessing it, or they don't appreciate me. Sounds a lot like me.

Living in this materialistic world leaves you almost no choice but to fight for survival. Even for survival you have to fight, let alone luxury. For so many years I do not have someone who really understands me. Not even how I feel.

It's hard to avoid myself from envying others, especially how RICH they are.
.............. I am really tired about saying how poor my family is.

I really do hope that I can turn the tables in the future.
I am tired of being poor.
Maybe nothing I say will matter.
But see, you people have at least BOUGHT single storey, big cars and etc.

Lets go Vinson.
Let go your emotions.

After so long

2010-02-19T19:20:00.003+08:00

Hoho so much fun visiting friends' houses
Got lots of food and drinks
And also angpaos

Haha it seems that I have good luck today
RM5 x 6 = RM30.... Shh... Later have to be in police station

Well, although no one knows what am I thinking
But still, being with good friends
Is something you cannot value
Because it's priceless

有感而发

2010-02-08T20:41:00.002+08:00

‘好朋友’的定义是什么？
一定要有说不尽的话题吗？
似乎已不在我的掌控里
其实我有好朋友吗？
我想我无法回答
因为是别人当我是好朋友与否
所以应该参考别人的答案

生日
只是加一岁
没有其他东西
或许
是我抹杀了它的意义
只是
生活上的不如意
令我觉得人生无须那么漫长

My Poem

2010-01-28T21:42:00.001+08:00

《睡眠》

砰！砰！
不止的枪声
笼罩了战地
轰——轰——
不息的弹声
掩盖了战场

国家沉入
睡眠
他们
一天又一天
成为牺牲品
直到永远灭绝

战争
在他们面前
把他们的
最爱
摧毁

在这个
无限的黑夜里
我看见
纵横的泪痕
我听见
痛苦的呻吟
我闻到
腐臭的尸体
我尝到
绝望的味道

何时
晨曦会再微露？
何时
希望会将重燃？

汹！汹！
莫大的海浪
肆虐于大海
飕——飕——
莫强的旋风
跋扈于大地

大地陷入
睡眠
他们
一个接一个
成为牺牲品
直到永不苏醒

灾异
在他们眼前
把他们的
最爱
夺走

在这个
永久的黑天里
我看见
奔涌的泪水
我听见
悲伤的哀悼
我闻到
腐烂的尸首
我感到
无比的悲恸

何时
曙光会再出现？
何时
人类才会醒悟？
------------------------

有任何意见或批评，请留言。

对不起

2010-01-17T11:41:00.000+08:00

不知道你是否影射着我和你。
如果是我的错，我道歉。

Determination

2010-01-15T19:09:00.003+08:00

Will year 2010 be peaceful year?
I doubt it.
Sometimes things do not go as we wish.
We have to be contented.
For everything.

Well put away all the mood swings.
Work hard with full of ardour.
I am willing to do what it takes to score full A+.
There is no time to waste.

With my poor understanding in Accounting I have to put in more effort.
But I will do my best.

Sometimes being a good person is not that easy.
I am not talented to be one.

Time's up!

2009-12-29T15:14:00.003+08:00

Holiday is at the brink of extinction!!

Homework checklist:
Chinese - Halfway
BM - Done
English - Done
Mathematics - Done
Additional Mathematics - Done
Biology - Done
Chemistry - Quarter
Physics - Zero
Moral - Quarter

I hope I can finish it by tomorrow.

Christmas Wishlist

2009-12-20T19:03:00.017+08:00

Although predictably unachievable.......

1. Motivation

Just flipped my clear holder and saw my results for last year's trial exam. Yes, I got the second place. I know I can achieve the first place if I work very hard. But, things do not go that easy for me.

2. Money

Needless to say, it's always what I pursue. It's the only thing that can make you live in comfort.

3. Peaceful life

What I realised not long ago is, a peaceful life is so near yet so far.

Results out

2009-12-16T13:04:00.004+08:00

Average: 82.5
Ranking in class: 4
Ranking in form: 12

Good?
Bad?
It's not up to my own decision.

I am putting a suspicion in the marking of History paper. The questions are exactly same in my book, and I followed the answer up to 95%, yet I only got 83 marks.

Let it be.
Let it go.
Let it flow.

New Moon

2009-12-02T13:06:00.002+08:00

Haha it was a turnabout yesterday. I didn't plan to watch New Moon, but since Hilary, Victor and Zhi Lok were going, so I followed them. Quite the first outing after the holiday started in November. Ate McDonald's and watch New Moon at TGV cinema. I didn't read the original novel, nor watched the first movie, so I couldn't really understand the first fifteen minutes. However, the movie wasn't disappointing, as I caught up with the movie WITHOUT READING THE BOOK MUAHAHAHAHA. Well Victor, the directors couldn't fit every single detail into a 130-minute movie, so don't be disappointed.

New Moon: 7/10

The bus fare had increased much compared to last time. The tickets only offer a single way not double. *Sigh* Money do play an important role if you want to have fun.

Holiday

2009-11-28T14:55:00.000+08:00

Ain't that good
But ain't that bad
It's really nice to stay at home all day
Never have to worry about schoolwork

为何？

2009-11-20T15:55:00.000+08:00

久等又长待的假期终于来了
等了那么久
可是却一点都不开心
所有的等待
似乎都不值得了
为什么会不开心？

Add Maths

2009-11-16T22:51:00.004+08:00

Great. I am confident that I will get an A1.

Life and death are not what we can predict and control.
Life is unavoidable, death is inevitable.
So why let yourself be burdened with those matters?
Live on, happily or sadly, angrily or gloomy, it will still reach an end.
An end which is already determined and dictated by God.
Maybe life is not really fair to me.
It is not totally and always up to my control.
However, I will still do what I can.
So, let life flow like water.
So, let life flow like rivers.
So, let life flow like seas.
So, let life flow like oceans.

One Week

2009-11-13T20:28:00.001+08:00

That's the last part. Just a few more to go.

My performance ain't that bad, after all.

Exam

2009-11-06T16:45:00.002+08:00

-Entering death zone-

Half-dead. I am disappointed with my performance today. I made a lot of mistakes. I even answered the proverbs part wrongly.

Sad, grief, weary.

Still have a long way to go. Shall I really put everything down?

2009-11-02T16:17:00.000+08:00

累

休息

往前走

虽然我不愿意继续走，但是我答应了主。

加油。

Back

2009-10-31T17:35:00.002+08:00

No matter how far I go, I will still be back.

To here.

After two and a half months.

After so many things happened.

I am growing tired.

Somehow I do no wish to live so long, but I will continue my life as long as God wants me to do so. Dreamed of having brain cancer last week. Ah, life and death is so unpredictable. Concrete, yet abstract.

However, I am contented with what I have now. Everyday seemed to be plain and simple. Quite what I prayed for, thanks to God.

Born with or Earned

2009-08-11T21:18:00.002+08:00

Jun Wen asked me, "Is your intelligence born with or earned?"

Her almost-same-voice sister, Jun Lin said earned.

I said born with.

Not sure though.

Compared to the strong and competitive students, like May Lee, Jian Beng, Chooi Teng, Lim Bei etc, I do not study much. I am now playing Restaurant City. LOL

I have strong memory, both instant and lifelong. But not utilised well. It's good if I can find a place to utilise my memory.

Earned? Sometimes though. I was quite hardworking in my last few years.

What can you do with good results? Not really a single thing.

Not Studying

2009-08-09T12:00:00.001+08:00

I haven't start to study. This is no ordinary Bofang. Somehow, a lot of things had happened, and I had changed considerably. Studies, or academics, are important, I have to admit this. But I still don't know why I am not studying.

Penilaian

2009-08-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

Oh it's penilaian next week.

Haven't study yet.

Don't have the mood.

I Love IU DAY

2009-07-25T20:38:00.003+08:00

Carnevale di Venezia

SAB's IU Day was amazing, astounding, amusing, wonderful, thrilling, shocking, surprising. The performances were unexpectedly well. Such as the Vienese waltz by the elegant Serene, the pretty Rocyie, the cool Manwyn etc. The song fitted the waltz very well. For those who don't know the title of the song (actually I didn't know too), the song is titled Once Upon a December, sang in two versions. The softer one is sang by Liz Callaway, and the orchestral version is sang by Deana Carter.

And this was the busy part. The bubble tea was a great success, but the chocolate biscuits were experiencing a bad sale. Thanks to Ke Xin and Hilary, the bubble tea brought PBC a lot of money. Still, sorry to their hands since they worked 3 hours NON-STOP. The customers, although had to wait for a long time until their turn, remained calm to buy our AWESOME bubble tea. Of course, me myself supported by acting as a cashier!! Ka-Chink!! $$$$$$$$$$ Come!!

I think I am not allowed to post how much did we earned (but even if I am allowed, I don't know the exact amount since I left early). But at my leave, we had earned RM120++, after deducting a cost of RM400.

Cramp Cure Day

2009-07-23T19:16:00.004+08:00

Today was a blast, I mean on the afternoon side. I was somehow supervising the handball tournament to help the injured. So it went like this.

There was a wild Syahbandar girl trying to snatch the ball from a taller Laksamana girl, and to get to her goal, she KNOCKED the Laksamana girl. Then the girl was like Ahhhh! and then she rolled on the floor. I was like O.o because I didn't know whether she needed my help. Then I ran to there to check the situation. Then this stupid pervert bisexual teacher said "Did I say I need your help?" F***!!! Hey as a PBSM I have the responsibility to help her!! If anything happened to her, were you able to carry the responsibility?! NO!! So just jerk off instead!!

Okay put this aside. Syahbandar and Laksamana went to an agressive battle and the situation was tense. Laksamana missed an attempt and the ball rolled towards 4 Hemah. Then this girl, my friend, my classmate, Syud went to pick up the ball ALONE (Okay it's not dangerous). Suddenly she couldn't move and somehow she fell down (I wasn't paying attention that time). And another Laksamana girl cramped. So the everyone shouted "PBSM!!!" Then me and Sook Shian "terwoke" and then rushed to there. I handled the Laksamana (Good girl, she got better in 1 minuted) and Shian handled Syud. Syud's condition was worse, she cried!! Then this Pn. Foo comforted her and asked her not to cry with the theory "crying increases pain". O.o So Shian kept massaging her. Then to Syud's gang's request, I went to buy ice cubes to............ eat? Nopes, but actually ice cubes didn't help. Syud just couldn't stand, she cried and bit her tudung. Kesian.

Syud was so semangat and she cheered for her team. And she screamed too - my ears hurt. And then the event ends with Laksamana won. Ahh yeala Shian Laksamana is good =.= Then the previous Laksamana girl cramped BOTH HER LEGS!! AND THERE WAS ANOTHER INJURY. Then Shian went to survey the latter's situation and she was just stomach ache, which PBSM couldn't help. So me and Shian took one leg each to massage. Okay the medicine wasn't so nice, it was so mint-licious to hands. Zzz they actually took our service as free massage! Okay as long she is cramped, we don't charge money ROFLMAO!! Then some girls was like "Ah, saya juga kejang, Bofang/Shian!!" Then I replied "$10 sejam!" and "Rumah kamu ada OGAWA la!" Okay so the thing ended with my job satisfaction.

To ?

2009-07-22T20:58:00.001+08:00

Replied you in the comment box.

So, what if I suck? In the first place, I have never said that I am good or professional or whatsoever. And, if you think I suck, then think what you will.

Greed

2009-07-21T20:58:00.002+08:00

There are many times where greed can lead to downfall.

Sorry, to whom I SMS-ed today.

I think that I am very foolish to do so. And selfish.

Very tired mentally. Don't know what to do.

Last Resort - Epilogue

2009-07-20T22:03:00.004+08:00

Dracula: MUAHAHAHAHA!! You failed!!

Bofang: Okay, I have no regrets.......

As the title and the mean Dracula's words suggest, my last resort of getting __________ had failed. It seems like God doesn't grant me that __________. Thank you, however.

IQ

2009-07-19T11:25:00.001+08:00

Free-IQTest.net - Free IQ Test

有支舞蹈叫华文学会

2009-07-19T11:05:00.003+08:00

华文学会
俨如广阔的舞台
每个人都在认真扮演自己的角色
舞蹈之中
免不了
有疏远
有贴近
摩擦若隐若现
误会似有似无

如果我的固执
在你心上割了一把刀
如果我的爽直
在你心上划了一条痕
我诚心诚意地在此道歉

可是
我从一开始并没有质疑你的决定
在第X封短讯
我只淡淡地提了“希望你没有XXXXXXXXX”
而不是“我觉得你有XXXXXXXXX”
而且我很清楚地表明
我对秘书一职感到很开心
固然我得不到主席一职
但我很感激我仍然是学会的灵魂人物（黄老师的说法）

据你的说法
我似乎从中一开始
就是为了“分数”二字而加入华文学会
我觉得你这样说
对我有欠公平
若我只是为了分数
我大可从一开始
就参加别的学会
但我没有那么做
何苦？
因为我是华人
捍卫人权
爱我中华
我义不容辞
我赴汤蹈火

真的很抱歉
若我伤害了你

Last Resort

2009-07-19T01:12:00.002+08:00

This is my last resort. Seriously, honestly, frankly, I hope this works. I had prayed for this, and this is the only chance I can somehow change my life. However, if God doesn't grant me what I want, I don't know what more can I say. Those who know me well will probably know what am I talking about.

Unfortunately, the possibility of success will only be a mere 15%, if 'miracle' is put aside. I hope God grants me a miracle.

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = 96%
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 98%
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 100%
L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D = 101%

The despicable me might put God aside once I get what I want. Since years I had been using God as a credit card -- to help crossing hard times. Sorry.

买东西，而不买南北

2009-07-18T22:59:00.003+08:00

凑巧在HLGG的部落格看见这篇文章。
观点有些不同。

好像是几年前的《知识报》
东西，顾名思义，就是东边和西边。但，为什么万物都可以用“东西”来概括呢？HLGG说得没错，这跟五行的确有关，但事实并非因为筐子能装什么那么无根据。

五行是中国古代的一种物质观。多用于哲学、中医学和占卜方面。五行指：金、木、水、火、土。认为大自然由五种要素所构成，随着这五个要素的盛衰，而使得大自然产生变化，不但影响到人的命运，同时也使宇宙万物循环不已。

五行之中，火代表北方，水代表南方；木代表东方，金代表西方；而土代表中间。汉人多以金钱为重，而水火纯属自然化学现象，古代汉人不把它们当成财富的象征。土到处都有，因此古人并不重视。唯独木和金的经济价值在五行之中最高，因此汉人就把“东”和“西”拼在一起，成为我们今天所说的“东西”。

Backgrounds for Blogs!!

2009-07-18T21:43:00.006+08:00

http://www.alliebrownslayouts.blogspot.com

Hey Jing Yee, I got my piano here!! MUAHAHAHAHA. So, thanks to me, Xian Jin found her favourite background. And Sook Shian is renovating her brother's blog too.

Credits to Allie Brown for posting the layouts.
And to Bofang too for doing publicity!!

Hampers Day

2009-07-18T20:06:00.002+08:00

Went to Leisure Mall to buy hampers. As expected, it's flooded by people.

First I went to Popular to buy files for PBC. Yeah I am a secretary, so gotta buy some files to file the piling things. But since PBC's activities for this year are going to end soon, so actually there are not really piling things.

Then this is the craze. I went to Giant. My aim is two buy 4 hampers, two of which worth RM40 and another 2 worth RM30. The thing is, I am alone. But thanks to someone, I can utilise trolleys!! So I went one round around Giant. And took a lot of things while calculating the prices. I was like O.o when the things I bought exceeded RM40 but still looked too little.

Suddenly MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA I saw two "copies" of completely wrapped hampers worth RM39.20 each. Nice. That saves my brain cells. As for the RM30 hampers, things went easier. I made "cheaper copies" (like Giant brand instead of Munchy's) to cut down the cost. It was perfect. So I went home with a trolley full of food =.=

PBC AGM

2009-07-16T18:40:00.001+08:00

Okay
Only got the post of secretary
But at least
Happier than PBSM

Acceptance

2009-07-15T20:38:00.002+08:00

I convinced myself again and again
Accept the fact
At least I didn't cry O.o
Well
If God wants me to walk this road
There's nothing I can do
Right?

R.U.S.H

2009-07-14T21:48:00.004+08:00

Thanks to her, I am now doing my homework.
Normally, I would have prepare to sleep at this time.
Currently, I have completed two essays.
R.U.S.H Bofang!! Go go go!! You can do it!! LOL

==Update==
10.43 p.m. I have completed the last two essays.
WOOT!! Two essays in one hour!!

Fortunate and Unfortunate

2009-07-14T13:24:00.003+08:00

12.30 p.m.
I was taking my bath, shampoo-ing my hair. Suddenly I froze. I lost my PBSM red file. I contacted my friends and the efforts were futile. Thanks Jing Yee and Ngai Foong though. Ngai Foong, however, reminded me that I brought the file to the Form 4 block.

1.30 p.m.
Ka Hou's reply was that he was not in school. I asked for Sheril's help. And she saved my day, if not the day. Thanks Sheril. Thanks Jesus. Phew.

Life goes up and down, just like a wheel. You might turn upside down in years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and even seconds.

Bored

2009-07-13T22:11:00.003+08:00

I......

- I love wearing cotton pyjamas, that kind which children wears, but without cartoons

- I love drinking plain water

- I don't really like carbonated drinks

- I love to sleep early

- I am Christian, not a genuine one though

My......

- My handwriting varies from very neat to very messy

- My books are in my drawer - I don't bring them home unless they are homeworks

- My fee of RM 222.00 is not paid

- My blog is this blog

Oh crap, just wasting time here. Two essays out of four done. One self-made, one copied. Hey bitch, two can play in the game!

Stella Nox Fleuret

2009-07-13T20:11:00.007+08:00

Personally, I think she is very pretty and elegant. I prefer beauty over sexy, for your information. Unfortunately, she is a fictional character.

PPSMI

2009-07-12T17:50:00.006+08:00

In year 2003, our former Prime Minister, Tun Dr Mahathir had launched PPSMI, or Teaching and Learning of Science and Mathematics in English. This programme received generally positive feedback and comments from the people of Malaysia. However, there were some people who weren't satisfied at all, and they gave the following reasons:

1. Reducing the competitiveness of Malays, especially those in rural areas.
It's undeniable Malays in rural areas generally have a lower command of English language, since they widely use BM in their daily lives. Therefore, the launching of this programme agitated them as they were aware that they would not be able to compete with those in urban areas due to their below-average level of English. But hey, don't narrow down your vision, put it on the horizon. By learning English (AND YOU AREN'T GIVING UP BM), you provide yourself a chance to compete with others. English as an international language and lingua franca serves as a platform for us to fight with others. Don't just grumble that you couldn't catch up, find out the reasons. Was it because you weren't diligent enough? Was it because you didn't have a good teacher? I guess you knew the reasons well. Chinese in rural areas can perform as well as those in urban areas, why can't you? So stop talking nonsense.

2. Challenging the status of BM.
Ridiculous. Yes, you learn Science and Mathematics in English, BUT YOU LEARN THEM IN BM too. Did the government remove the learning of both subjects in BM? No. Chinese schools continued learning in their mother tongue, so there's no way that you can say PPSMI challenged the status and position of BM. We still have BM as our national language, English as a second. Chinese schools have Mandarin as their primary language. Needless to say much, BM is not challenged nor mitigated whether or not PPSMI is continued.

So, the government said that they will stop PPSMI after surveying the wants of people? Really? Oh crap. Check this out. http://www.chedet.co.cc/. Currently, 71468 of people voted and voiced out their opinion in Tun Mahathir's blog. 61821 people or 86.5% said that they disagree or oppose the cancellation of PPSMI. In other words, ONLY 13.5% wants PPSMI to be stopped. Fancy an explaination, government?

Now, allow me to fight for PPSMI, will you?

PPSMI, or Pengajaran dan Pembelajaran Sains dan Matematik dalam bahasa Inggeris, or Teaching and Learning of Science and Mathematics in English, intends to improve the level of English mastery in students. It, too, helps students to understand both subjects in English. Seriously, I STRONGLY AGREE that it should be continued for the following reasons:

1. Science and Mathematics are better taught in English.
Well, well. Might I ask you a question, ladies and gentlemen? ("Yes," you replied) Would you rather listen to teachers speaking 'fotosintesis' or 'photosynthesis'? Although the spelling is almost the same (You should know who is the rightful owner of the word), the pronunciation differs a lot. The former one would normally makes me feel annoyed because it's not genuine at all. Let me remind you that 'fotosintesis' is only the front part of Science. Later on, you will meet new terms such as 'kalsium karbonat', 'natrium klorida' and 'elektrolisis'. Oh, cute words they might be, but careful when you bring them to international levels. The caucasians will laugh at you, while some others will wonder whether or not your tongue has problems with it. I am not looking down at BM, but Science is widely learnt by almost all students, so it should be taught in one language to ensure uniformity. I am glad that the government knows that Form Six students have to prepare for international-levelled course, so PPSMI is continued in Form Six. So, why let secondary students learn both subjects in BM for FIVE YEARS, then suddenly change them into English?

2. Money-wise.
Needless to say, RM 3.1 billion is spent on PPSMI. Government bought a lot of new equipments, such as the odd-voiced-woman computer programme, while the book companies spent a lot of money to find authors to write for them and parents had their wallets or purses bleed by sending their children to tuition (It's not tiu-tion, it's tiu-wee-tion) classes.

3. International battleground is all about English currently, if not forever.
As aforementioned, don't let the caucasians to laugh at your half-English and half-BM slang. 'Kalsium karbonat' is definitely not a good word to show BM's uniqueness and beauty, it's just merely a word copied from English. Mandarin danced decently in international levels, and 碳酸钙 (Calcium carbonate in Chinese) is quite pretty too, in my opinion. At least, Mandarin doesn't copy English exactly.

For three reasons, I can say PPSMI is better than PPSMM. I am sure you agree with me too, don't you?

Template

2009-07-10T22:25:00.001+08:00

I am looking for a new template.

Please find one for me~

Influenza A (H1N1)

2009-07-10T20:40:00.003+08:00

H1N1 invaded SMK Aminuddin Baki.

But only 4J got their holiday.

I guess I am unsafe too, because I had Moral class with them.

Hey! Where's my holiday?

Duh =.=

Got sixth in whole form.

Better than I expected?

Strength

2009-07-08T19:57:00.002+08:00

- Inspired by Christopher's post -

Throughout the mankind history, the importance of strength has never been neglected nor ignored as a vital part of humanity. Human beings, or scientifically homo sapiens, rely greatly on strength to make development and progress, no matter great or tiny. This can be easily proved by the existence of the ancient seven wonders of the world. Needless to say, without strength, mankind would never exist until now.

In my humble opinion, mental strength plays the most important part in mankind development. Take online games and MMORPG as examples. Mages, magicians, wizards are always associated with the intelligence attribute. Utilising terrains, weather, spells and of course, their mental strength, intelligence-based characters have earned themselves an honour. Tilting the camera to the reality, mental strength and intelligence are what people need to monopoly markets, to compete for rankings and also to think of strategies. Obviously, bad and cunning people make use of their high IQ to deceive mankind. Some people excel in their left brains, while some are good in their right brains, and excellent people excel in both. In ancient times, different levels of mental strength, intelligence and even education determined the status level of human beings. Excellent anticipation brought Warren Buffett to upstage Bill Gates in terms of wealth, while astounding political knowledge led Barack Obama to become the current President of the United States. In other words, mental strength is what brings human beings to succeed in their lives.

For those who are familiar with Defense of the Ancients, or DotA in short, it's hard for them to miss out Crixalis, or Sand King and Lucifer, or Doom Bringer - they are strength-based characters and have a significant influence on the game. This is because characters who excel in physical strength surpasses other characters during early-game. However, this does not mean that they lose their lustre during mid- and late-game. Physical strength, by any means, is the easiest way to show one's power and influence on a matter. For instance, bullies always deliver punches and blows to their victims to exert their power. Countries with better military strength often invade weaker countries, no matter in ancient times or modern centuries. A good example will be USA. Lacklustre in terms of military strength in poor countries such as Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq had became victims of USA. Focusing on daily matters, when male animals and men want to fight for a female animal and women respectively, they usually end up in fights. This is an unavoidable situation since fighting for food, territories and mates is a natural behaviour for animals and human beings. The Olympic Games are no exception too. Games and sports always depend on physical strength and manipulative skills. From the examples aforementioned, it's obvious that physical strength is not to be neglected too.

When it comes to the term EQ, or abbreviation for Emotional Quotient, one can link it to emotional strength. Emotional strength does exist in ancient times, but there is no physical quantity to measure it. Since the term EQ bloomed in 1920s, emotional strength became more and more essential and important in our lives. It's actually a psychological measure of the ability, capacity, skill or a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. How one manages emotional issues reflects his or her level or emotional strength. People with low EQs generally possess weaker abilities to manage emotions and feelings. In the world today, competition among employers, employees, students and even toddlers is getting stronger and stronger. Employers have to compete for business. Employees have to compete to surpass each other's performance. Students have to compete for results, rankings, positions. Toddlers have to compete to see who learns walking, singing, running and talking first. It's an absolute disadvantage for a person to have weak emotional strength because he or she will be less likely to manage problems well.

Strength, brings development. Strength, brings progress. However, the gradually increasing strength in mankind caused mankind to forget about something. Virtue. Moral Education in secondary schools, unfortunately, is no more than a piece of paper which contains 36 moral values, full with definitions. Students just have to memorise every single word from the definitions. Also, voluntary work aren't done voluntarily. Students are forced to act like drama kings and queens in front of the camera. How despicable! God gave us everything, and reminded mankind to put virtue as the utmost importance. Yet, what happens in the world today? Crimes are getting more and more. Greed in human beings are getting stronger and stronger. Two can get married without the presence of love - they marry just for money and status. Two can become friends and backstab each other. So what's the point of becoming husbands and wives or friends?

According to Christianity, plants possess only bodies, and animals possess bodies and souls, while human beings possess bodies, souls and spirits. We surpass every other species is not just because we have mental, physical and emotional strength, it's because we have spirits but plants and animals do not. God made us special, and therefore, we have to appreciate what we have. Apprécier!

Eschaton for Marching

2009-07-08T19:53:00.002+08:00

It ended.

We trained for two weeks.
And perhaps 120% effort? (Pn Zuhaidah: Gunakan tenaga 120% semasa menggergaji!)

That's all I can do.
And what I could do.
No regrets.

GO GROUP 4 and GROUP 8!! You are the best!!

撑下去

2009-06-16T22:36:00.002+08:00

我告诉我自己一定要撑下去
我告诉我自己一定要走下去
可是
为了什么
奋斗了几年
骇然发现自己没有
明确的目标
为了奋斗而奋斗
为了坚持而坚持
没有目标
随波而流
现在的我
不像以前那么单纯
但像一池止水
风过无痕
也没有什么牵挂了
倒下去
只怕医药费太贵
死去
还是怕下地狱
（没错，这是让我生存的其中一个理由，至少我还有机会做善事来上天堂）
（可是我也不想上天堂，只希望死了之后，什么都被删除）

仍然等着你的回复
仍然等着你的答案
你却无视我的等待

刚刚做了智商测试，得分155，准确度令人质疑
再高，对我来说，也没有什么令人振奋了

2009-05-24T22:31:00.002+08:00

Venturing into darkness, heart
Walking into troubles, heart
The sea of life
Vast
Deep
Unpredictable
Yet enlightening

Looking into mirror, heart
Gazing into water, heart
The ripples of mind
Serene
Quiet
Continuous
Yet tiring

Rich. Evil.

2009-05-16T20:10:00.002+08:00

"Man will turn evil when he becomes rich"
“男人有钱就变坏”

Guess this saying is not ridiculous.
I once imagined myself becoming rich.........

The first thing I will do... is to eliminate those I hate...
Maybe I will hire an assassin
Or an arsonist
Then I will demolish what I don't like
Then I will buy what I want...

Wow, that's nice, only if I am rich.

So what?

2009-05-08T20:04:00.001+08:00

Yes
I don't want to study
So what?
I want to watch TV
So what?

I hate autocracy
I hate overdemanding
I hate controlling

Sudden

2009-04-20T21:25:00.001+08:00

Suddenly I am in the Malay Debate Competition, and it's on next Monday =.=

"Rakyat Berminda Kelas Pertama Tunjang Kegemilangan Negara"

Do you agree with that statement?

I hereby announce that I need your help!!

Am I the Extra One?

2009-04-14T22:12:00.001+08:00

I feel like my presence is worthless. The world doesn't change a bit without me.

Tired, and sad.

I am grey

2009-04-14T21:49:00.004+08:00

I am a greedy, realistic and materialistic person. And I don't think you need me to explain that. It's not easy to change. Everyone has their own perspective of life. I am the kind of people who will have to work hard to survive and thrive.

I will regard my colour of life as grey. My life is not really colourful, and I can say most of my memories are dull. Do you think strong memory is a good thing? Not really. I can still remember a lot of horrible things. Unforgettable.

— Common connotations of grey —
boredom, reality, seriousness, neutrality, dullness, mediocrity, undefinedness, and contentment

Tired life, whatever it's, life still goes on. What a sad fact.

L.O.S.T

2009-04-03T20:29:00.002+08:00

Finally, after one month we lost. But then, for a beginner, it's quite remarkable! And we don't even have a professional lesson. At least we had entered the semi-final. The third place indeed.

Accepting lost is never an easy task for me.

Next year I will be back! But then if there's still no professional trainer, then just give up.

45 days

2009-03-31T19:43:00.001+08:00

45 days..........................

Quite prepared to face it........

But I hope that day won't come...

Flow with life...................

Gloomy Results

2009-03-11T23:10:00.002+08:00

My English 80
May Lee's English 97

My Physics 91
Hui Wei's Physics 96

I have to study hard during this holiday.
Please give me moral support. LOL.
But then I don't really have the motivation to do so.
It's like, I don't get anything even if I scored 100 in everything.
Help me, whoever seeing this. XD

-- Marching --

2009-03-11T22:55:00.002+08:00

Everyone knows that PBSM girls got the third place. But they also know that they were actually much better than KRS girls. So, what is the point of having this competition? To show that KRS girls exist? Haha, being unfair only makes others feel even more enraged. So please be fair, and give the honour to true winners.

Anyway, PBSM girls, please don't be sad. It's quite near to the fact that PBSM "would never" get the first place, and I guess you know why. Of course, I didn't train as much as you all, so it's not for me to comment on your performance. Oh, Christopher, I agree with you that PBSM boys don't have that much motivation. This is due to the disappointment in last year, in which our squad was suddenly dispersed at THE ELEVENTH HOUR. So, this is the major reason that boys have less ardour and passion than girls. But next year, lets recruit more members.

Lets go, PBSM, live to the fullest. Prove to them that we are not "二婆命" (Always get the second place).

Unfair

2009-03-10T21:53:00.002+08:00

Puan Wan Rosna, how dare you deduct my marks even though I answered the questions correctly? You are indeed a bad teacher! DEVIL WOMAN!! And Puan Teresa (I don't care how you spell your name) are you following the marking scheme while marking the papers? You better follow it properly!

Argh, it's utterly bad to be in 4 Maju. All the teachers are irresponsible and simply teach students. This make us incompetent in examinations. Yet our principal expects us to get good results? For me, it's impossible, but for other smart people, especially Jing Yee, Lim Bei, Yasameen and Ngai Foong, it's possible. Argh, gotta learn something from some boys -- Don't try to be perfect. Actually I am not trying to be perfect, but these teachers really made my result fell.

Gonna study hard. And I don't know whether I should take or drop Accounts. Someone give an opinion please...............................................................
Seriously I don't know what to blog about. Life is MEANINGLESS. We grow up, reproduce and die!!! What's the point then?!

Results?

2009-03-05T19:32:00.004+08:00

Additional Mathematics questions are not worth what I practised. It's just that question 10 (a) IS NOT TAUGHT BY TEACHER. Uggh, 4 Maju, why isn't there a good teacher?!

BM - B3
Physics - At most A2
BI - A2
Sejarah - At most A1
Sivik - At least B3
Biology - B3
Mathematics - A1
Moral - Do we have a B4? Or is it C4?
Chemistry - At most A2
Additional Mathematics - A1 (No 100% because of the un-taught question)

Wandering the empty yet full world.

Aimless

2009-03-05T19:29:00.003+08:00

Aimless again because I don't know what I have to do after exam. Feel like made for studying and passing exams.

Wanna ask everyone something, but then I don't think many people will see this. Does my presence have influence on your life? Meaning that will your life be different if you never know me?

I guess it's obviously not. 9.9 out of 10 people will say so. If you don't believe, just go and ask someone the same question. Or you can wait for 2 months and 11 days more, and you will find out the answer.

不要轻易松手

2009-02-17T23:24:00.000+08:00

哭是代表倦意
无聊只是因为
不愿到哪里去
忙碌只是借口
麻醉自己
麻醉自己

骄傲只是逃避
想要说服自己
可以不依赖你
改不掉的任性你要相信
我在努力

我不断提醒自己
爱自然就好
不要太刻意去完美
要求太高
不要让我独自承受
看着我说不要轻易松手
好不好…好不好…

不愿在你的眼里
变得太渺小
害怕你的爱会减少
不愿让你看轻我
你太过重要
要证明我给的最好

Cold

2009-02-14T23:06:00.002+08:00

Feel so cold.........

Gonna abandon this blog......

I don't know what to write..........

Somehow, life is always that unfair........

I have been experiencing autumn and winter all the time........

Where's my spring?

Where's my summer?

Do you guys really think I love to study?

Definitely no.........

But I have no choice........

2009-02-10T21:33:00.003+08:00

Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate

Hate life.................
Hate everyone.............
Hate myself...............

!@#$%^&*()
The fact is I need a holiday
And maybe better teachers

I guess I am mentally-ill
I laugh when I see people dying

Backlane

2009-01-22T22:41:00.002+08:00

Lets prepare something as backlane. I might transfer school to SMK Taman Seraya. If you don't want me to leave, pray for me. I will also pray for myself too. And I know that not everyone likes me, so you don't have to pray if you hate me.

Helpless

2009-01-22T22:11:00.002+08:00

Might be my last few days in SMKAB. If there's a point of return, maybe I shouldn't make so many troubles. Aikz, just because of ten-minute anger I ruined my whole life. Okay, if I am really done, lets pray for me that I die the next day.

Helpless, helpless. Worried, worried. No one can help me now, but still I want to thank Jing Yee for saying 'WE will stand up for you'. Although that seems impossible (Since not everyone concerns about me), but still it's a comfort to hear that. Jesus, Jesus where are you? Never really listenned to you before.

守候

2008-12-11T21:16:00.005+08:00

我能等你吗？
在那淡淡月光下
静静想你
我能等你吗？
在那熟悉的地方
轻唤着你
风里传来你的呼吸
云里映着你的笑意
林里的鸟相偎相依
我却孤寂

我等你回来
把那窗儿打开
向我依赖
我等你回来
带着纯真的风采
宛如小孩
衣上装满你的记忆
夜里的梦多么清晰
冰冷黎明只剩叹息
如何忘你

迷离的夜飘响着无边境的旋律在耳边旋绕不停
能不能载着思绪的雨带我找你
纵然是梦想也罢
宁愿寂寞放弃自由
怎样也想抓住你的手
春夏秋冬你的承诺
我会守候
__________________________________________________________

最近，我发现很多非常好听的歌曲都不是出名的歌手所唱的。相反的，知名度低，甚至是隐名歌手唱的歌曲，才是真正的余音绕梁。不是我对偶像偏激，但是我百听不厌的歌曲往往不是周杰伦、蔡依林等国际级歌手所唱的。就拿这首歌来说吧，连上载者都不知道其歌手姓名，却能成为某游戏的主题曲，实在是叹为观止。所以，不要只听偶像的歌曲，将耳朵张大，或许你会发现，你偶像的歌艺比起其他人，也只不过属于一般。

另外，歌曲并不只讲究好听，歌词有意义也是关键。比如说周杰伦的歌曲，因为有意义而被纳入考题，这对当事人的歌曲来说，是一种肯定。显而易见，听众也要求有意义的歌词。说了那么多，其实我是要诠释这首歌。哈哈！！

等待，是一种幸福吗？还是是一种折磨？我不太清楚。依稀记得我每一次的等待都不是等待恋人，而是等待车子。当然啦，我没有女朋友，怎样等待她呢？不过，很多连续剧里的情节，那些恋人多时没见到对方（有时候是其中一方失踪了），一见面就哭得泪流满面。或许，等待是痛苦的，但等待的结尾却是开心的，是吗？

Random

2008-12-11T20:18:00.005+08:00

It's near the end of holiday but I still haven't did anything meaningful. My brother just passed me tons of Form 4 and Form 5 books that seem boring. And I haven't start going for tuition classes. Anyway, please do give me details about splendid tuition centres such as Martin if you don't mind.

Besides, I want to change a new hairstyle. However, I can't think of a hairstyle that suits me the most and is S-H-O-R-T. You know, SMKAB will never allow students to keep trendy hairstyles, or else the teacher will cut your hair without mercy. So everyone, give me suggestions and I will repay your kindness if your suggestion works!

Seriously, I am out of ideas to write articles. And I am feeling bored because my life is almost the same everyday. Wake up, bathe, eat lunch (No breakfast at 12.00 p.m.), play PS2, watch TV, play computer and sleep. It's like I am a programmed human that does the same thing everyday. But I have nothing else to do.

Asset Lost

2008-12-09T19:44:00.002+08:00

I was arranging my certificates yesterday and I found my result slip for the first trial. I got 89.00 for my average out of 8 subjects, and got the SECOND place out of 200+ students. (Okay, not to show off, but that was the best achievement in my secondary school exams) Actually, I prayed a lot for it, at least that 'a lot' is a lot for me.

But I guess I won't achieve that high score anymore, because I haven't started reading nor going to tuition during holidays. Additional Mathematics and Accounts are new subjects for me, yet I am not preparing for them. So it's time to let go my ranking, I guess. Congratulations for Sook Shian, since she has bought a new COMPUTER and a book on Additional Mathematics.

Now that May Lee will go to Singapore due to ASEAN scholarship, so there will be less competitors in my form, but you know, SMKAB is never lack of competitors. I think it will be very great if I still can maintain my results as top ten. (That will take a lot from me, notably one-month-before-exam studies and one-day-one-prayer-for-one-month prayers)

Let me think twice, thrice or maybe many, many times before I go for tuition. I hate tuition, since it robs my playing time. And our principal always demand this and that from us, so there will be even less time for playing.

全国领袖研讨营

2008-12-09T18:49:00.004+08:00

上个星期六到星期一，参加了研讨营。其实，还不是为了分数而去。不过，至少学到了剪纸，还算是收获吧！不过，得到了分数，我觉得很开心，因为明年我可以减少外出次数。（我就是那么现实，这是人人皆知的）

这个研讨营，我不避讳地说，并不如预期的成功，因为始终没有把“领袖”当成最终主题，反而着重于华文学会的管理和进行。我是觉得，除了甘征豪先生之外，其他外来讲师并无助于让营员真正地学习和了解“领袖”的定义。讲得好的反而是营长和副营长，可以很深入地讲解一篇文章。

Anyway, I am slow in typing Chinese, and I only type Chinese for literary articles. so I am switching to English. Sorry for any inconvenience caused. Well, the camp was not very good in punctuality, since some of the campers did not obey what the committee members said. Okay, enough for criticsims, and switch to compliments. The food was above average, and there's not many problems about in terms of cleanliness.

So, I will give score on this camp based on certain criterias. (Haha, I am a judge!)

Facilities: 7 / 10
- Everything is okay except the PA system.
Cleanliness: 8 / 10
- I don't see much rubbish on the floor.
Accomodation: 8 / 10
- It's already good to have such a big hall to sleep in.
Beverages: 7.5 / 10
- The third day's beverages pulled down the score.
Activities: 6.5 / 10
- Poor weather and boring lectures are the main drawbacks.

Overall score: 7.4 / 10

Anyway, I enjoyed this camp quite a lot, even though there are some drawbacks. I have made 17 friends and we worked together through the camp. Thanks to 韩非 members, you all gave me sweet memories!!

人生苦短

2008-12-05T21:53:00.006+08:00

繁忙的时候，想要休息
渡假的时候，想到未來
贫穷的时候，渴望富有

生活安逸了，怕幸福不能持久
決定的時候，怕结果不如预期
细看明白了，后悔没下定决心

不属于自己的，常常心存欲望
握在手里了，怀念之前的轻松
生命若不是现在，那又是何时？

想要体会一年有多少价值，你可以去问一个失败重修的学生。
想要体会一月有多少价值，你可以去问一个意外早产的母亲。
想要体会一周有多少价值，你可以去问一份定期周刊的编辑。
想要体会一天有多少价值，你可以去问一个朝九晚五的职员。
想要体会一小时有多少价值，你可以去问一对等待相聚的恋人。
想要体会一分钟有多少价值，你可以去问一个错过火车的游客。
想要体会一秒有多少价值，你可以去问一个死里逃生的幸运儿。
想要体会一小秒有多少价值，你可以去问一个错失金牌的运动员。

人生苦短
既然错过了
某样东西
某件事情
某个人物
不需再回头
把眼光放在前面
或许
你会发现更好的
庆幸
自己当初没有选择那个

前方是绝路
希望在转角
今时是困境
安逸在未来

Bookmark?

2008-12-05T00:45:00.006+08:00

I did this just now. It's not 100% made by myself, I just put the words on the picture and save it. (I know it's lame but at least I bother to make one) Literally, the sentence mean "Even though the sky has feelings it will grow old, if the moon doesn't have hatred it will be round forever". I guess my translation ruined the original sentence.

Honestly, I have nothing to do right now. And I don't know what to type about. Ideas anyone?

Kimi He

2008-12-03T21:47:00.008+08:00

The ending of Final Fantasy X, along with the song Kimi He, which means 'To You'. This song is a voice collection of Mayuko Aoki, who is the voice actress of Yuna. Personally, I think this is an average song, but when combined with the movie, it is quite touching.

For those who don't understand the movie, this is the ending FMV of Final Fantasy X. (I have mentioned it just now) The protagonists came so far to defeat a monster called Sin. Sin was created by a man named Yevon to serve as an armor, protecting himself and a illusionary city. Over the years, Sin kept attacking people to prevent them from reaching the city. Sin would reborn everytime it was destroyed, leaving mankind in depression.

When the protagonists made their journey to Sin, they had already thought of a way that could permanently destroy Sin. Sin was then destroyed and ultimately, every spirits of the world were dispersed. The heroin, Tidus was dispersed in the process too, because he was a part of the illusionary city. Tidus left the heroine Yuna even though they were unwilling to separate.

Sad huh? It's like when you and your lover breakthrough countless obstacles and thought that both of you would live happily ever after, but it turned out that both of you have to leave each other, and never meet again. This is what we called fate. You can't oppose fate, nor you can control it. Let time flows and you will discover many more interesting things (and maybe partners) which you love.

December

2008-12-03T19:34:00.012+08:00

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

Oops, it's too early to sing this song. Anyway, it's December. Although I don't hate this month, I don't like it much too. Why? Besides Christmas Day and Christmas gifts, December is known to rob my precious holiday. Uggh, 30 days to go before school reopens. I better do something I want now. However, I have nothing to do currently. (I know it's crap but this is what I thought of)

Honestly, I never received any Christmas gifts from my family or my friends. But at least my primary schoolmate, Wan Chen has sent me one or two cards. So, I guess I am not that pityful after all. Haha, but I think if I have a snow globe or something decorative, it will be nice. Sorry to Sook Shian but your snow globe looks magnificient.

It will be better if there's a 6-feet-tall Christmas tree.

And it will be the best if I got 8 A's for PMR. But a sparkling PMR result doesn't bring you anywhere nice. A sparkling SPM result does this. So, I probably won't be sad if I do not get 8 A's.

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
RECESSION is coming to town

It's bad to edit a song, and I know that obviously. But this is the fact. (Stress increases tremendously) Currently, my parents are not greatly affected but my relatives are. Let's pray that everyone will make through this financial crisis.

Frasers Hill

2008-11-30T13:56:00.002+08:00

I went to Frasers Hill yesterday morning with my family. I did say I don't want to go but my father kept insisting me to go. So, I had no choice but to go to the boring place. The journey to our resort took about 2 hours and I felt dizzy. Argh, I really missed my blog and my PS2 but I can't do anything. Sorry for no updates on my blog. (Haha, just a few people viewed my blog actually)

We had steamboat (!!) for our lunch on that day. The ingredients like fishballs and sausages tasted great, but I would say that the fish is awful. (For those who don't know, I hate seafood except processed fillets) As mentioned, the place is boring since there were no places of interest, so we just stayed in the hotel after the petrol-wasting tour around Frasers Hill.

Anyway, I guess the resort had its own strategy to attract guests. At least there was a dinner for my family and the food was quite good. And I had some slices of honeydew and watermelon. (I can eat fruits, even if I hate them) Well, I was moderately full for the night. Wasted some money SMS-ing Digi-using friends because the reception there was bad. But Maxis rocks, since there was no problem when I SMS-ed my friends.

The next day (Today) we went for breakfast in the resort's restaurant again. But this time, it was a buffet. There were quite some nice selections and I enjoyed the food. So after we ate breakfast and packed our things, it was time to go back home. (Finally, my blog!) Reached home around 1 o'clock and did some unpacking and bathed just now.

I don't want to get back here again.

生命万花筒

2008-11-28T01:20:00.010+08:00

一个人
从呱呱坠地
到奄奄一息
就在一瞬间
生命，是如此短暂

一个人
从风光满面
到落魄潦倒
就在一瞬间
生命，是如此难测

一个人
从生气勃勃
到死气沉沉
就在一瞬间
生命，是如此脆弱

天有不测风云
人有旦夕祸福
我们
也许时时刻刻想着
下一秒会发生什么事
我们
也许时时刻刻想着
下一秒自己会不会死

但是
患得患失地夹饭吃
是我们想要的日子吗？
疑神疑鬼地穿衣服
是我们想要的生活吗？

生命
就像万花筒
有的是现成的
有的是自制的

现成的
格局已定
有的人认为安乐无忧
有的人认为绳捆索绑
色彩
未如自制的自由
却又固定的美丽

自制的
任由自己
有的人认为海阔天空
有的人认为危机四伏
色彩
未如现成的缤纷
却有独特的斑斓

既然
灾难无法预测
人祸无法抵挡
死亡无法避免
我们又何必
日思夜梦
挖苦自己呢？
让你的生命万花筒
漂亮起来吧!

Magic of Love

2008-11-27T22:53:00.008+08:00

I love your smile…
I’m giving you this song…
I’m sure it'll be your style…

It’s like you can see what’s in my heart
What I like, and the response I long for
You give me everything, I’m so happy
What are you, darling, if not my destiny?

Since you said you love my smile
I’ve smiled more and more each day
Everyone asks “Hey, what diet’s that?”
Isn’t it obvious!?
It’s the power of my darling, of course!

No matter what I do, you’re always in my head
That simple thing is a sign that you’re truly with me
And you’ll stay by my side, right??

It’s like you can see what’s in my heart
What I like, and the response I long for
You give me everything, I’m so happy
What are you, darling, if not my destiny?

You give me presents all of a sudden on ordinary days
Saying stuff like “I hope it suits you”
So you were thinking of me when you chose it!?
That feeling, and everything you do, makes me so happy
You’re so dear, so sweet

I want to get to know what you’re thinking so quickly too
If I do, I feel like
I can get to know your deepest thoughts and feelings

It’s like you can see what’s in my heart
What I like, and the response I long for
You give me everything, I’m so happy
What are you, darling, if not my destiny?

The moment I changed from your friend to your girlfriend
A precious thing formed inside me
I want to stay wrapped in your tenderness like this
I want to stay like this forever, by your side

It’s like you can see what’s in my heart
What I like, and the response I long for
You give me everything, I’m so happy
What are you, darling, if not my destiny?

The moment I changed from your friend to your girlfriend
A precious thing formed inside me
I want to stay wrapped in your tenderness like this
I want to stay like this forever, by your side

Darling, you’re my destiny
__________________________________________________________

Translation of Koda Kumi's song 'Koi no Mahou', which literally means 'Magic of Love'. Nice huh? Personally I think Koda Kumi rocks, and she can sing all types of songs despite her hoarse voice. This is a challenge for most singers, yet she can gain victory over this.

Cut off the crap, since this is not what I want to talk about. So, the main theme for this article is about love life. Sounds cool, huh? But I don't think I have truly engaged in a relationship before. Can anyone tell me how does it feel when I am in love? I admit I am quite unpolished when it comes to love.

My love life is almost empty. My ex-girlfriend was not truly a girl-friend, but I guess we have been together for about one year. It was not a love, if said accurately. It was just...... I don't know how to describe this. On the other hand, TV dramas conjured my impression on love, which can be concluded as....... It depends on everyone! (I know this is lame but everyone has different love life)

How do you tell when you like someone? How about when you love someone? Are there big difference between these two conditions? Please tell me if you know. Okay don't get the wrong message. (I better tell this out first before anyone misunderstood and try to bait me) I am not liking anyone and I don't think anyone likes me. (Convincing myself that being single is good HAHAHA)

What type of girl do I like? Err.... haven't deeply thought of this before. Physically, I think 165 cm is enough and shoulder-reaching hair is just nice. Looks are important but it's not as important as her inner side. She must be smart (We can do unbreakable crimes then), tender and...... I don't know what else.

Hey it just a stupid crap after all...... So tell me what's the magic of love, will you?

日出、日落

2008-11-26T14:03:00.012+08:00

日出，晨曦的一角；
日落，月光的一隅。

日出，白天的到来；
日落，夜晚的降临。

日出，一天的开始；
日落，一天的结束。

日出，希望的来临；
日落，希望的离去。

曾经问自己
喜欢日出还是日落
爱上日出的壮丽
爱上日落的美丽

日出，万象更新
日落，万籁俱寂

人们一天的作息
取决于日出日落
人类一世的希望
取决于日出日落
生物一切的动静
取决于日出日落

平凡的日出
让大地充满生机
平凡的日落
让大地充满滋润

我觉得
日落比较精彩
因为这代表一天又过去了
或许
我是一个比较懒惰的人吧
不过
如果我是懒惰的话
世界上没有勤劳的人了！！

Nothing

2008-11-26T13:51:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow is the gathering day of 6R students but I don't think that I am going. I have been to such gatherings before and I think that they are absolutely boring. It's better to play my PS2 at home and sleep whenever you want. But I owed Ri Huai RM 30 for THREE years and I have to return the money to her.

I don't really feel like going because of my hair. It's too long, so it's very difficult for me to style my hair as usual. Uggh, I want to go for a haircut but my father won't allow me to do so. He will ask me to go to the barber shop. (I rather kill myself if he forces me to go there) So it's better to stay at home and relax.

Oh yeah, not many people know about my blog currently. I am not sure whether to disclose my blog or not. It seems odd to do so. But of course, I don't think they will read my blog because my blog is long and draggy, plus the articles are more to pessimistic. Okay, give me some time and I will try to find some good articles to write. By the way, I am going to Fraser's Hill after three days so I think I will have quite some to write when I come back.

Currently, I am watching Forensic Heroes 2 but it just loads as slow as a tortoise. I hate this stupid Streamyx package. But Maxis Broadband and WiMax are both too expensive, so I think I have to remain using Streamyx. At the same time, my brother finishes SPM today so I don't think I can blog until he goes for National Service.

Tag!

2008-11-25T15:55:00.008+08:00

Okay, I am creating a tag for myself and I will tag others after this.

Rules and Regulations
- Answer all of the questions.
- Don't give ridiculous answers.
- Remove ONE question from both sections and replace it with another one.
- Then, tag FIVE friends to be the next victims.
- NO tagging back.

Section A
1) What are you doing now, beside completing this tag?
- I am listening to musics.

2) Do you prefer schooling days or holidays?
- Holidays!! At least I don't have to wake up early in the morning.

3) What was the last movie you watch?
- Money Not Enough 2. And it's not interesting.

4) List one of your most prominent odd habits.
- I love plain water more than other drinks.

5) Which colour(s) do you like the most?
- I don't know, but I guess I like blue and black.

6) What do you do when you are getting to sleep?
- Climb up to my bed, cover myself with a blanket and close my eyes.

7) What's your current dream?
- To be a millionaire.

8) Chilli sauce or tomato sauce (ketchup)?
- Both but I like chilli sauce more.

9) What do you think about your grades?
- At least my parents won't confiscate my things.

10) Rich but single or poor but married?
- Rich but single, of course!!

11) How do you want yourself to die? (NO dying peacely)
- Jump down from a building.

12) Favourite brand of chocolate?
- Ferrero Rocher. But it's very EXPENSIVE.

Section B
* List five people you think of. (Must of both genders)
A Ngai Foong
B Jian Beng
C Ka Hou
D Jing Yee
E Sook Shian

1) How did you and A know each other?
- We were in the same class since Standard Two.

2) Do B and C act crazily?
- B doesn't but C does.

3) Does D has a boyfriend or girlfriend?
- I am not sure about this.

4) What does E like to eat?
- Nuggets?

5) Who makes the best partner in completing projects?
- All of them I think. A, B, C and D provide great information coverage (LOL!) while E gives good support.

Who do you want to tag?
- Jing Yee
- Sook Shian
- Lai Chin
- Baoyu
- Jian Beng (But I don't think he will do this)

Prayer

2008-11-25T00:57:00.004+08:00

Suddenly, I feel like want to pray. It's really impossible for me to live without God. I was wrong to try to live independently. It seems that I really have to seriously accept Jesus as my savior, not just simply accept.

Dear Jesus,

It had been quite a long time since last I prayed seriously. My previous prayers are like not serious and just thinking of using God as a credit card. I knew that it was a sin to do so, but I just can't stop trying to live on my own without God. I was wrong, as I really can't stand it when problems keep coming.

Thank you for everything that you gave me, including my intelligence, even if I did not use it to full potential. At the same time, I did not appreciate it and try to hide it. I used to love reading books like encyclopedia, storybooks, novels. But a few months ago I nearly lost my aspiration to study due to the criticisms I receive.

It was truly a surprise to know that my grades improve a lot when I studied hard for the first trial. I felt that my efforts came to fruition and I was very happy at that time. Thank you Jesus, for giving me such a boost in my examination. However, I did something wrong during the second trial. It was one of the biggest mistake I ever did in my life. I cheated to get higher marks. I knew I was sinning but I really wanted to get high grades. Now I regret for doing such a foolish mistake. And I even denied it when Jing Yee posted my acts on her blog. I went mad and scolded her with bad words. Thank you Jesus, for making me realise my mistake, at least, our friendship did not vanish like bubbles.

I would like to repent every sins I had done in my life. Every single of them. My previous salvation was merely a joke, when I think of it. But this time, I want to be serious. I want to start a new life. I want to change myself. Thank you for sending friends to convince me to study hard again. They were like angels for me. I was being too realistic and materialistic these days until I made my public relationship went down straight. Jesus, please guide me to become a better person, please let me escape from the shadows of complaining and lamenting.

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

VINSON-IST

2008-11-24T21:49:00.004+08:00

A new title, a new life, a new journey. I really hoped that there will be no problems or conflicts until the end of my life. I know this will be definitely impossible, so I will prepare myself for anything unhappy incidents.

Okay, I must say sorry to Baoyu because my blog's title, but this is what I thought. It signifies that I will be ready to set off towards my goal. (Even though I have none currently) Well, if I must set a goal for myself, then it will be earning as much money as I can. I know this is crazy but I really want to be rich. I don't know whether my dream will come true or not but I will strive my best.

So, I will try my best in my studies. Please forgive me if that statement made you angry towards me. But some of my friends said that this is my life and I have the rights to decide what I want. You guys have your own entertainment like going to cyber cafés, shopping madly, playing online games and such. But I don't have. So studying might be the best way to kill time, for me.

VINSON-IST, a perfectionist who always wants the best in completing projects and organising things. You can tell this by looking at the way how he writes articles - there are no abbreviations and there are minimal grammar errors. (I am not praising myself but this is what you call perfectionist)

Seriously, I don't look forward to year 2009 but time never stops. So there's no use complaining. But if I am given a choice, I would like to sleep for a long, long time until I am ready to go. Okay, I hope that next year will be a great year.

Crap

2008-11-24T01:08:00.005+08:00

Many unhappy things happened in my life this year. It was not easy to go through them, and I experienced the word "lost" for many times. I lost myself many times this year. I didn't know what was I doing. I was just like a robot which carries out programmed activities. My life was dull - full of shades of gray. All I did was study, study and study.

The problem is, what am I studying for? A few months ago, I was being criticised for studying like a psycho. I really hated myself. I felt sad for myself, since no one knew what was I thinking. All they did was dumping cold water on me. Of course, there are some friends who truly supported me during my helpless period. However, if compared to those who treated me badly, there are far less helpful friends. Well, I sincerely thank those who gave me advices, without you all, I might not make it until today.

Is it true that getting good results ensure better future? No, it is totally fake. I used to believe in this statement but I found that wrong. There are too many graduates who are jobless nowadays. So why should I study? It doesn't gurantee me to be wealthy, and maybe it doesn't bring me a job too. But I must have to do something now. And none than others, it is studying. Why? Because I am a student. So, I should talk less and continue achieving top results.

I don't really have a single goal now. But I think I will choose to live quietly as a normal person, earning myself a live. For me, the definition of live is not to do something marvellous or wonderful. I prefer to define live as breathing, eating, sleeping and those living things will do. And I don't think I will live more than 30 years old. It's better to die faster since you won't need to work too much.

Waste

2008-10-31T19:21:00.003+08:00

Do you ever know what is waste? Okay, you might say it's throwing unused papers, dumping half-full drinks, buying clothes that are "unwearable" and etc. But I call these physical wastes, which you can see with your own eyes. These are really wastes but they just revolve around materials and money, so they don't cause much nuisance to people especially rich people.

So what is mental wastes? Well, this is what I found out myself, and I am probably experiencing it. Mental waste is the waste where your hardwork and diligence for so many years being unappreciated and even being criticised. Okay, at least my hardwork is being praised and appreciated when I was in primary school, but not in secondary school.

What makes a difference between me and other ordinary students? Quite a lot, but I guess the major difference is I am too realistic for them and in addition, I am too hardworking. Hence, some of them kind of repelling me and even backstabbing me. (Okay, not you, and you know who you are) Do you think I really wanted to be so hardworking? Now I am suspicious about the words in the Bible, as in Verse 6 in "2 Timothy 2": Furthermore, it is the hard working farmer who should have the first share of the crops.

Hardwork really brings ominous relationships huh? Maybe I should stop being hardworking and slack off like some of the students. Getting first is nothing but criticisms. Being the top student is nothing but foolishness. That's what I learnt from my experience, and that's the fact, don't you think so?

Death

2008-10-29T00:36:00.004+08:00

Well, it's been quite a long time since I last wrote an article. Something is really, really missing from my life. I thought I could find it myself, but time proves that wrong. I couldn't find it, even though it only consists of nine letters. H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S, simple, yet meaningful, but I don't think I can reach it.

It's far for most of the time. I can just glimpse at it for a second or two, and it will disappear from my view. Whenever I think about my past, I found that my smiles and laughters weren't sincere. Sounds pity, huh? But that's true.

When I wanted to take the newspaper from the table, a commercial brochure dropped down. It's a promotion on notebooks. Well, they are not the notebooks used for writing, they are mobile computers. Wow, everyone around me has what they wished for, such as high-technology mobile phones, notebooks, big houses and etc. But what about me? I can't even play a game I wanted to.

How long do you think a human can live? 80 years old? 70 years old? Well, that's the range for an average person. How about me? 60 years? Nah, 60 years are way too long, 30 years are quite long, 10 years are a little long, 5 years are decent, 1 year is okay, 1 month is very good, 1 day is excellent, 1 hour is short, 1 minute is too short and 1 second is impossible.

So, for a person who has lost his hope like me, 1 second may look like the shortest time to end his life, but the fact is, it is too short to do anything he wants. So I guess I will pray for a last day. Nothing excites a person who is unhappy more than death.

Aimless

2008-10-17T19:15:00.002+08:00

Today was the last day of PMR, with Geography as our last paper. Many seemed to be very happy, but actually, I don't know why are they happy. I missed PMR suddenly. I missed high-quality question booklets. And perhaps I am a pervert who can't forget his own revision books.

Just after PMR I felt aimless, really aimless. I don't really know what should I do. Everyone went to cyber cafes, badminton courts, shopping centres ect. to have fun. Duh, I found my wallet quite full of money, with two bluish green notes, and with that amount of money I can eat quite luxuriously. But I will feel bad if I use them, because they are my long-saved money.

Ahh, what's the point ending PMR? I can't even play the games I wanted. I can't even watch the television programmes I loved. There is no difference before and after PMR, for me. I always envied others. I find myself always thinking of others' wealth and freedom. I was once told that my eyes are full of sadness. I can't change that fact though, but I don't really mind about me.

I slept for five hours just now. I would want to switch on my computer, but I have no games to play with. Occasionally, I realise that I should put my eyes ahead to the future. But I don't have money to gurantee that I will be a successful person in the future. Well, maybe money doesn't decides everything, but it does decide quite a lot of things, right?

Okay, I am going to read some of the Form 4 books if I can get them earlier. I don't wish to do that too, but what can I do?

Kiss Me Good-Bye

2008-10-11T16:22:00.002+08:00

You say my love is all you need, to see you through
But I know these words are not quite true

Here is the path you're looking for, an open door
Leading the worlds you long to explore

Go, if you must move on alone
I'm gonna make it on my own

Kiss me good-bye, love's memory
Follow your heart and find your destiny
Don't shed a tear for love's mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

As time goes by, I know you'll see this of me
I loved enough to let you go free

Go, I will give you wings to fly
Cast all your fears into the sky

Kiss me good-bye, love's mystery
All of my life, I'll hold you close to me
Don't shed a tear for love's mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

Kiss me good-bye, love's memory
You put the dream in my reality

文言文

2008-09-22T21:44:00.003+08:00

某十有五于前日，众纷祝。礼似山，贺似海。某见此，乐得至夜无眠

反吾，虽尽血汗，乃无惜之。甚或蹋吾功，素疵吾劳。

悲哉世也！岂独一人哉？莫不然矣。

Okay, I know my classical Chinese isn't that great, but at least I am typing this with my own knowledge.

Suddenly, I felt that I have lost my track with the world. I can't catch out with the world's pace. Sigh, I just want to sleep and sleep.

壮举毕，吾弗变，仍捧卷，无嬉乐。

Lost and Vanished

2008-09-15T20:27:00.006+08:00

(Okay, JY, I really hope that you don't read this post, because I have to write something. Hey, I am not talking bad about you, so if you don't trust me, you can still read it.)

I saw a lot of blogs just now. Most of the blogs were talking about me. Only humiliation, criticism, insult and scolding. No one loves that, and neither me too. But if I were to simply find a person and ask, still they will give me a bad remark. You said I should try to be in your shoes, and I don't really think I can solve the incident better than you if I were you. But, if you were me, can you endure the pain of mine? I think you can, but you will just masquerade and camouflage yourself.

Actually, to tell the truth JY, it's not the incident that hurts me the most. The incident is easily forgetted. Here, I have to apologise one more time. I don't think you can make to the bottom of my post without tissues, so please be ready. (Hahaha, in fact, I don't think you will really cry) Now, no one is on the same line nor same side with me now. I don't really need them to attack you back, but at least, I need them to stop the scolding. No one scolds you, right? But hordes of your friends scolded me. You know how I felt when I saw their blogs? My heart was like hung on the wall with a string and swang like pendulum. That was scary.

Perhaps you will more likely trapped in the problem of being happy back again, and I did not really face the problem, so I can't help much in that. Which part I hurt the most? As usual, the heart. (Of course, people say heart-broken but not brain-broken even though the brain controls our emotion) Perhaps, I will not have any friends anymore, I mean the friends I used to have. But, Valerie, thanks for your advices, and Pui Ping, thanks for your encouragement. It helps, in a moderate degree, at least. Now I lost my reputation of being one of the top students. Valerie, that's why I hate being a clever person. I still ended up fooled, humiliated and insulted.
If I were not in this world, don't you think everyone will be much happier, even you too, JY? There would not be such an arguement.

I really hoped that I could change my surroundings, at least for a certain period. But that's not going to be true. I still had to face a lot of criticisms, which I couldn't stop myself from not ignoring them. Well, at least those criticisms are much less in 3 Amanah, right? Uggh, I don't really think so, because most of the students still criticise me beyond my knowledge. But at least, I am fortunate to not to be in the downstairs because I found a lot more people criticising me there.

Am I really poor? Yes, even if you asked me the same question over and over, but this time, is not just in terms of material wealth only. I lost a lot, and you too, I know. I don't know what you lost, but I know you lost. (What sentence is that?) What I lost? I lost friends, in the first place. I lost my reputation, and even though that is not the main scar, I think I am more upset on this. Now people don't trust my results. This made me lost the aspiration and the perseverance to study. If I studied, and get excellent results, they will think that I cheated. So what for I study? For my future? No, studying does not really ensure that your future is bright. But that's the only way I can do as a student.

Parallel with the title, do you think someone found what I lost? Yes, they know what I lost, and they found it, but they will never return that to me. (Until this point, do you know what I really lost?) I think you know, JY, because your English is supremely good, and your comprehensive skill is not bad either. Valerie, it might take you some time to find out. (No offense, but I think you are too blur in this matter) But, if I were to stop my steps, I will lose even more, don't you think so?

Tomorrow is Chinese class again, but I don't know where should I seat. Most of the people who criticised me are actually Chinese you know? I think I should just remain sitting at the back, it is very scary you know? Looking at ominous and malicious stares just make me feel chilly. But, getting back to the root, that's what I deserve, some people I think.

Okay, JY, you still went through this post right? You aren't holding a single piece of tissue. (Wow, I can be a psychological doctor and earn lots of money if I guessed them correct) I can't help you in your problems, you can't help me too. So, what is the point both of us asking each other to be in other's shoes?

Answers from Me

2008-09-15T19:36:00.003+08:00

(I don't know whether you were talking about me in your post. If no, ignore this)

If you were talking about me, then I am now replying to you. Before I start, I hope that you can tell me why we are trapped in the vortex of arguement again. Okay, perhaps it was my two previous posts that make you feel uncomfortable. But do we really have to debate on blog?

(Okay, I am repeating this, this post counts only you if you were talking about me)

I don't really know whether you are talking about me, but the sentences in your post are indirectly pointing towards me. (Okay, this is what I think, not what you think)

So, I am entering straight to the point, and I will reply each of your sentence if I have the time to do so. (Everyone is revising now but I am still running this blog)

That incident just passed two or three days ago, so it's not a gazillion years ago.

Well, it doesn't hurt that much anymore now.

I know very well whether I can endure the pain, and I am confident that I can.

Okay, I am not the only one receiving advices.

My life is worse than yours - I am not getting a single thing I wanted.

I really can forget the incident if I try to surpass it with other things in my mind.

Some friends really can cheer me up but they mentioned that incident again. =.=

I am not hurt now because I laugh instead of smile. (Thanks Ngai Foong, for searching out grammatical errors in teachers' words and laughed at them)

I let the cheerful side of mine emerged itself and not forced it to do so.

The person that one least understands is himself / herself.

Forgive 100% done, forget 99% done. (The 1% will be done if my friends stops to mention the incident)

You will laugh easily if you have friends who can laugh with you. (The friends around you are far more serious than those around mine)

It's never easy because the unhappy side of me will emerge sometimes, but only if I let it to.

For the last two statements, I don't really know how to answer them.

A Day Wasted

2008-09-15T15:48:00.003+08:00

Okay, I went back to my "Latih Tubi" class, 3 Amanah today. I don't really like it, but at least, I don't have to go through another raging wave. Well, I found myself a more suitable seat for myself, and not many people can see what am I doing. Well, I can go out from the class without being noticed, or I can eat if I wish too. (Thanks Fiona, for your delicious mee, and I can't smell any vinegar inside).

Well, you sat at just right in front of the teacher, and I thought you were crazy since you actually can change your place. Hahaha, anyway it's none of my business. I found myself actually can forget the incident, if no one would ever mention it again. But duh, someone mentioned it again today, and [grrr...] I didn't want to make anymore statements but my mouth is always faster than my brain. Hey, I did not talk bad about you, so stop your scolding. (I know you will)

Peace? Never easy to achieve that. But I will try, and try, and try. Yeah, it will be always easy to achieve peace, for me. But that kind of peace, is not the true peace, it's just avoiding and dodging. Hey, just take a look at our country. Messy and totally in a chaos. And those politicians called this country a peaceful country? Time will only cover the matter, but not erase the matter.

Examination, is it really that important? Well, for wealthy people, of course you will say no. But for me, (I don't know what to say). If I had the rights to choose, I want to end my life earlier, but not in the way of suiciding. Okay, I don't think I can make it to 20 years old (Still got five years only). If I really have to suicide, I will just jump down from my class, with the head facing down. Wow, that makes a sure-die suicide. Hey, even though it is crazy, but it's better to have a sure-die suicide than a suicide that fails but instead, leaves you handicapped for the whole-life.

Grrrr.... I don't know what am I writing in this post. A sleepy person really does not do well in anything huh?

T-Junction

2008-09-13T23:30:00.008+08:00

Okay, I have been criticising everyone, and blaming them for blaming me. I had got some people who supported me (just a little), and some people who gave advices, and some people, who acted as if they are a good friend, but in reality they betrayed me. [Okay, listen you two (Yes, only two of you know about my blog), I am not talking about you two]

If I were to gazed the road I had walked before, I will see a thin mist covering it. The road I walked, was always rough and jagged. There was only a few roadsigns, and they were not that clear. The road was never straight, and it was full of obstacles. I am amazed that I could walk this far, at least, I lived longer than those who commited suicide. But I was never happy, for I was just wearing a mask all the time.

Why mask? Why not my own face? That was a long story, and no one would ever find it out, luckily. Perhaps I was dictated to walk the long, curvy and rough road. And, the ending of the road, might be nothing, or maybe just another roadsign, signifying my end of live. But, there is always another split road for me, if I think positively. It's just up to me to choose, and it greatly determines my next destination. Yes, I am in a T-junction now. There is only two ways to choose. The left is to whom Christian called Satan. The right is to Jesus. I had always liked the word "left", but as for this junction, it is not just depending on what word I like or hate. It may turn me into a completely different person.

Okay, you two, especially the Christian one, read these two paragraphs carefully. I had thought to turn into the left road. And I wanted to go into the left road. But I lacked something. Power. Now it's not just the power in the abstract form, is the magical form of power, or you can call it ESP (Extransensory Perception). And that will grant me whatever I want. Oh well, you might say I am crazy and trapped in the devil's vortex. But, hey, give me some time.

Now lets look at my right hand side. Oh, it's the correct way actually. But I had to put down everything, especially greed, glamour, pride and fame. Well, it's easy for you to put them down, but not for a Taurean - they are well-known for their materialistic thinking. Plus, entering that way means you must do a lot of things, especially going to church, reading the Bible, devotion etc. Again, easy for you but not for me. Duh, I feel really angry every Friday after the prayer, and I had told you that. I am really crazy now. Maybe the next minute I will be in the graveyard.

Okay, to the non-Christian one. If it wasn't that incident, perhaps I would turn into the right road without any hesitation. Okay, please don't feel guilty, and just read this thoroughly. Getting first in everything (Although it is not impossible) is my prime goal, and yes, I had earned the first person that you hate the most recently. I don't know whether I still had the rank or not, but then it doesn't matter that much now. Getting first is hard, especially if I want to win May Lee in my studies. But, if I want to get my scholarship, that's the only way I could do, I mean studying like a psycho. I don't have the money to go for tuition classes. I don't have money to ensure that I at least have a high-school education level. You see, now that others wouldn't want to forgive me, and I guess, I shouldn't care about what happened to them anymore. (Okay, now you know I am standing on the left turn's entrance). None of our classmates had experienced the same situation as me. Their parents (and yours too) are wealthy enough to give them a better education. But I know my own family well. I know I have to strive and endeavour to earn everything I want. I understood how you feel and think about me. But if I were to give up, I can't earn a single cent in the future. Please forgive me, and if the same incident happened again next time, you can blog what you want, and I wouldn't shower bad words on you again.

If, everyone had the same conditions as mine, don't you think even more people would download the papers? Well, I shouldn't mention the incident anymore, but it fueled up myself to strive harder. In other words, I will not download that paper I am confident that my future is bright.

Okay, another paragraph for her. (Not you two, but that person didn't know about my blog). Well, what makes you think that I am not poor? African kids? Everyone used that to convince me. But that is not effective for me. Because they were not around me. Those around me were those who do not worry anything, as if there is always a enlightening tomorrow. Actually, it makes no difference whether you want to forgive me, because now there is not a single person with me now, so save your words. (No offense but I really think that, at least, she wouldn't have to switch on her computer to apologise). Okay, tomorrow is a better day for you, and perhaps me too. But I think, if I were to sit at the corner myself and say nothing, it will be a best day everyday. And maybe +100% better for others too, isn't it? Some of our classmates throw a intimidating stare at meet whenever I talk, so I think it's better for me to be quiet.

If the world is always simple, there will be no crime. If the world is always understanding, there will be no poorness. Don't you two agree? Well, I don't know what you two think about this post, but at least, I wrote it with a chuckle. I don't know why I chuckled, and I wrote this with all the awful smoke smell on my body, which came from the newspaper I burnt. Well, at least, I had a better Mooncake Festival, which I originally thought that I would never forgive you before it comes.
Now some people (including you two) asked me whether we are still friends. Well, does my answer matter? I don't really think so, since you two still have your best friends, so my occurence as your friend will not change anything. To the non-Christian girl, my last sentence to you in this post is that, if there was no third-party in our arguement, perhaps I will answer, "Yes! We are still friends!" confidently, not reluctantly. I think that your best friends will never encourage you to accept me as a friend anymore. Okay, to the Christian girl. We were friends since primary school right? We were in the same class for five years, but for four years (Standard Three to Standard Six), we were acquintances. Yet we are in the same class this year. Actually, does my words about the incident matter that much? I think it's not, since our gap is never near. You might say I think that I am very fussy to say that I had to rethink our friendship. But I could have told you that it gurantees that we will not have any arguements. At least, we will not become enemies.

As for another two girls, it's not I don't want to accept you two as friends. The reason is just same as why I did not give the non-Christian girl a nice and happy answer. For the short girl, at least, we did not talked anything bad about each other, but, I don't think I am eligible (Is it correctly spelt?) to be your friend. For the girl whom apologised to me, I couldn't give an exact answer now. But thanks for your encouragement and advices.

The moon was not that round today, does that mean that my life is always lack of a piece? If yes, where is that piece? Does turning to Jesus gives me that piece?

My Point of View

2008-09-13T13:17:00.000+08:00

"Nearly every time when the results is pasted on the board, must be some who are sad, some are happy, some are angry(no idea), some are cracking themselves to the rest, etc. Just take an example, many people did not do well in their 1st trials because they did not expect that our principal would reshuffle the classes according to the results. They wondered they fell into deep cliff because they don't have the friends-who-they-close-with in the new classes. Chill out, nobody will be the luckiest forever, you deserve with the bad results because you never work hard for it. Assume it as your inspiration and do well in the coming exams -- PMR. Just be optimistic. Friends are not a must for you to suit yourself into a new environment. Do your best, beat the rest."

A quote from another friend of mine, whom had been in the same class with me for five years in primary school, and one year in the secondary school. Obviously, she was not standing on my side, but at least, she did not betrayed me too. I am glad to have her as a friend (But I might have to rethink that phrase "friend"), as she too, said I downloaded the papers from the website.

Listen to me, my blog-viewers, if you are a Secondary Three student in my school too, it was Pn. Izakiah who spread the address about the papers. But unfortunately, my teacher is another one, and he did not tell me that. And yet those students who knew the website, did not even bother to search for the papers. (This friend and the friend I mentioned in the previous post, I am not talking about you, I am refering to another guy and another girl). When they did not know how to do the questions, they did not say that they did not study, or I should say, they did not had the initiative to look for the papers. And they point their fingers at me, criticising my acts. Hey, you and you were the ones who did not care about taking a look at the papers, so don't blame others for viewing the papers.

Okay, the friend I mentioned on the previous post, if you still think that I am using this post to point my finger at you, I am sorry. But I really think that I did nothing wrong. But there will never be a person who will understand my feelings and the reasons and I searched for the papers. You were lucky to have friends to help you, and also a lot of students who did not look for the papers, to attack me.

The Scar

2008-09-13T13:00:00.000+08:00

Well, fiery person normally don't have scars, but they leave scars on people instead, isn't it? But I would rather say myself, an inactive volcano, which erupts after enduring and enduring. Well, I don't know whether that case will leave a scar on me or not, since I am trying to release my intense heat.

Okay, no offense for the next few paragraphs, as it is just what I think, and I don't think it is wrong doing that.

"We were once friends..[I think so] We can talk laugh gossip like any other friends would do... But because of one word E-X-A-M[dat's why i said SCREW the word exam]...Everything started to change..Our view of each other, our friendship which seems to be broken by now...Our mind of thinking of nothing but bad words and bad stuff to say about each other..."

A quote from my friend, whom I had argued with her yesterday, even till the night. Oh yeah, the core of our arguement, as mentioned by her, was the examination, which I searched for the exam papers before the examination starts. Well, I don't think that is anything wrong with my action. Searching for papers is not the same as cheating. I did not print the papers and brought into the examination class. Plus, it was our teacher who gave us the link, so it is not considered wrong. I had the initiative to spend 1/4 of my day for three days, searching for the papers, and did them one by one. If one paper had 40 question, I can say that I did 400 questions all on my own. So, what's wrong with my act? I did not steal nor rob the paper. I went through the papers by myself.

"I will not delete my blog..I need it to express myself..What I don't dare to say in front of others..What I tend to keep to myself and all I could have done is BLOG..You deleted your blog..As an act of putting a fullstop to the war between us.."

Another quote from her. Okay, how should I say that, I wonder? I deleted my blog because I hoped to put our arguement to an end, but she did not even delete a single or two post, or accurately, some paragraphs. Well, I can't make her do what I want. And, she had friends who stood on her side and attacked me. I had none. Not even a single one, yet those people in my form called themselves as my friends. Pathetic, for me. Yeah, because I am just a homework-machine for them, and maybe a printer. I am a worthless junk for them......

I wanted an answer, not just from her, and not just from my classmates. And I wanted a fair judgement for me too.

Diamond Dust

2008-09-13T12:39:00.000+08:00

What is diamond dust? Well, it is a ground-level cloud composed of tiny ice crystals. It generally forms under otherwise clear or nearly clear skies, so it is sometimes referred to as clear-sky precipitation. It is most commonly observed in Antarctica and the Arctic, but it can occur anywhere with a temperature well below freezing. In Polar regions diamond dust may continue for days without interruption.

Some people might ask, why I named my blog as Diamond Dust? Well, don't you think a breeze of tiny ice crystal is soothing? For most people, diamond dust is chilly and, it is not soothing at all. But for me, I hoped that I could remain that chill everyday. Hordes of people were attacking me recently, and obviously, I am a bad guy in their point of view.

Well, if I really resemble diamond dust, perhaps I would not care anything about those people. And I will continue with my life without any interruption or imbalance. But, I found myself actually a deep-boiled volcano, erupts at anytime, without warning or signal. Haha, ice and fire do not match at all, others will say. Yeah, I know that too, but now I am just trying to release my heat, and I don't really think that I will success in that.

In others' mind, perhaps I am a cheater, a vandal, an arsonist, or even an assassin, who leaves others with lines of tears but never care about them. But, lets not care about others, shouldn't I? The life is mine, and I develop my future myself.